Techniques Selection # 2 of 3
People are increasingly entertaining the possibility that happiness and fulfillment in life may require a substantial spiritual dimension. The following paragraphs describe seven practices that will develop your personal spirituality. This is not an exhaustive list, but it is effective. Enjoy!
See with Eyes of the Spirit.
Seeing a situation with eyes of the Spirit is a useful process in many circumstances but especially as preparation for forgiveness of others. This process applies imagination to explain an offense as understandable and forgivable behavior.
You do this because bearing a grudge, resentment, or fear is so damaging to you spiritually that you should risk forgiving even in the absence of an apology or expression of regret. The forgiver benefits even if the forgiven person does not.
Seeing with eyes of the Spirit intentionally seeks an alternative understanding of events from a higher viewpoint. The eyes of the Spirit see human weakness much more often than wickedness.
Cool Down and Open to Spirit.
Your spiritual and social abilities are measurably improved when your interactions with others (and self) are as free of anger, fear, and suspicion as possible. That is the cool-down benefit of this process.
Opening to the spirit will access the rich inner source of caring for the other person’s needs as much as your own. When you do this, compromises to everyone’s satisfaction are often possible and peaceful interaction is to be expected. The spirit will always lead you to treat the other person as you would like to be treated – with respect and friendliness. The charm of respect and friendliness is really powerful.
Promote What is Ideal and Right.
Your inner life is where you are free to define what is ideal and right. What is ideal and right is what you want to support and advocate in your outer life.
Life may force compromises, but betrayals or intentional misleading of others are serious spiritual self-injury and are to be avoided. They will certainly lead to unhappiness for you and others.
Forgive.
Forgiving frees the forgiving person from the burden of spiteful thinking and scheming. Most of the benefits of forgiving flow to the forgiving person. So, it is to the forgiver’s benefit to be generous, even lavish in letting go of hurt feelings from all causes.
Forgive as much as you can as quick as you can even when the offender is unworthy of forgiveness and unrepentant. Forgiveness is that important to your spiritual growth.
Communicate Calmly and Graciously.
Expressing anger, fear, violence, or agitation motivates others to get away from you or to respond in kind. Calmly confide and trust in others and observe how this builds relationships. Relationships are real, eternal, and worth the effort.
Give Spiritual Gifts Lavishly.
There are three valuable gifts you can afford to give lavishly to everyone. In fact, you will profit by giving them. You can count on an endless supply and widespread appreciation.
- Forgiveness
- Respect
- Promoting the welfare of all people
Use the Peacemaker’s Checklist.
- Try to calm down before you react.
- Do your best to avoid physical fighting.
- Avoid arousing anger or fear in your adversary.
- Avoid using put-downs, cursing, calling names or using profanity.
- Say what is on your mind but do it respectfully.
- Really listen (with an open heart) to what your adversary has to say.
- Try to see how you contributed or are responsible. Don’t just blame the other person.
- Try to put yourself in the other person’s place to understand their action, attitude, or response.
- Look for ways to solve the problem for both sides, not just win the argument.
- Be willing to compromise.
