(A Dialogue with God )
How do I forgive deep searing heart pain?
Only those you love, those you trust, can hurt you like this.
Father, I know, I have faith, that someday I will thank you for this PAIN.
Today I only have faith.
Today, now, through this wall of tears comes that whisper from within,
Your Voice wrapped in your comforting arms.
“As I love you, imperfect
being, you must love those who hurt you.”
What!!
How can I love those who burn my heart?
I want to hurt them.
Well, sort of. Part of me wants to hit back, to get revenge.
“My dear child,
There,
Feel my love.
Know my forgiveness for your shortcomings.
Now, go love them as I love you. Forgive them as I forgive you.”
How do I forgive while I still bleed?
“Pray for them.
Ask for help for them.
Hold them up to me.
Give to me your hateful feelings about them.”
Father, this is so…
It’s very hard. I want to hurt, to lash out, not to forgive.
OK, Father.
My feelings are not what I really want them to be. I can’t change that alone. I am not that strong, but I want to want your will. I want to want to love them, to forgive them, to bless them.
“Perfect, my child.
You are headed in the right direction.
Keep wanting.
You will get there.”
I want to want…
Peace settles in me.
Warm enveloping arms about me.
Hands reaching in, healing my throbbing heart.
Your warm golden glow.
Sunbathing in your love.
